Discussing sexual techniques with friends,Kissing and telling,sexual health

Before i start off the blog entry i have to first insist that i am a 30 year old female physician and though these blogs are not meant as specific medical advice, I know quite a bit of medicine..so these are informed blog entries that i am making here.

FAMILIAR SCENES THESE DAYS 

A/A group of men sitting at a bar , bragging to each other about whom they "DID"(quoting their own words, not mine!)  and what they did to WHOM and how much and how many scored?


B/A group of women sitting aka Sex and the city style and discussing which man is better and why the guy won't make her happy.. etc etc 


All over a casual drink or breakfast..out in the open..as if it was about something not intimate at all.


More and more people have started doing this>> viewing sex and sexual escapades as  something to brag about or discuss about as if it were a technique. As if there is no emotional aspect to sex at all...
As if the privacy of the other person doesn't matter at all, especially when groups of men are sitting and talking and discussing specific names, identity revealed and all that. 

I mean.. If a person has  once had mindboggling emotionally involved sex,,they will never go back or be satisfied to casual sex, no matter how technically accurate and exotic it might be. coz, SEX WITH SOMEONE YOU DEEPLY KNOW AND SOMEONE WHOSE MIND YOU RESPECT IS much much more intense than any mindboggling sex that comes out of just great sexual technique or hitting the right spots.


There is much more to sex than just technique..

IN MY OPINION 
Sex is a very intimate thing.
A very intense connection..
You cannot discuss it with friends like a technique or a conquest.
It is a very very emotionally intense thing between two
people and two people alone.

I often notice young men sitting around and saying things like,
" I even bought her dinner, but the B*tch won't sleep with me" 

And I am thinking, "Are these men under the impression that buying dinner is what you do to make another person want to have sex with you?
I mean., women these days surely  have enough money to buy their own dinner.Does that mean, they stop having sex with men altogether now that they can buy their own dinner?
Is a free dinner the reason women used to have sex with women in older times?
NO..
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I also want to ask these particular group of men another question.
You obviously don't respect this woman or have any love or respect for her --pretty evident when you call her "B*tch" So, when you hate her so much,,How come you still want to have sex with her?
So, you just like having sex with people you hate? why the self torture? why not have sex with people you love?

or is it that any woman who won't have you, automatically gets called names? Is it a juvenile anger response to call a woman a b*tch coz she won't do what YOU want? 
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I have another question for these men.
Don't  you  ever want to try to have sex with a woman whom you really love? 
or Is mindless sex enough for you in this lifetime? 
Do you have so much of  self hatred that you have already decided that there is never going to be a day that any woman could possibly really love you  and all you have to do in this lifetime is make do with women that hate you but have sex with you coz you bought them things/gifts?

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IN MY OPINION

Most lewd comments about sex or disassociated comments about sex come because there is some amount of sexual frustration or resentment associated with that act.





BTW
Why exactly are people comparing notes anyways?
TRUST ME
We are all animals of nature.. nature designed us and our bodies in such a way that even without guide books.,we will eventually figure out sexual techniques on our own, as we go, as we develop new comfort levels with our constant partner.

On the other hand, if you keep sleeping around with a new partner each time, you end up trying techniques that one woman/man prefers or likes on a new partner that possibly completely dislikes it.Every human is unique, they have their own unique sexual preferences,It not necessary to have universal laws that this sex act is a sure success with everyone.What one person likes, another may find utterly disgusting and they have right to say NO.



Regular sex with the same person over time, helps both partners, develop a mating dance of sorts(unique to that couple).where you reach middle ground.You give up some of your choices and you take upon some  of your partner's preferences.. to reach a beautiful middle ground.

one big rule 
is,If your partner completely finds a technique very very REPULSIVE for some reason..even after trying it ONCE.(yeah, just 'once' is all it take to figure if you really like it or not), dont' force them or emotionally blackmail them to do it again, just coz you like it very very much. Same holds true for something you find very repulsive..Your partner should not emotionally manipulate you into doing it, if you find it completely unacceptable.

Having said that..even after repeated attempts if either or both parties end up not being able to reach a middle ground where they are sexual satisfied, they must then go try to find new sexual partners.


Verbally and openly discussing sexual needs is a a great way to figure out things.DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK .Don't be afraid to say NO either. communication is important.



Having said that, we learn as we go along. Trying anything as long as it NOT A HEALTH HAZARD IS FINE.
There are so many techniques that are completely hazardous healthwise and it might be a good idea to avoid them.Ask your doctor about how the female or male body is constructed, coz once you know how the human body is ..you tend to know on your own, what might work or what might be unhealthy.

                                  About seeking health resources for information, 
Porn sites/videos  are the least accurate in terms of offering sex advice..They are NOT real live sex demonstrations.They are films with people ACTING and are shot with actors already on medication or drugs in order to achieve or make it look like their organs or secondary sexual characteristics are too unnaturally endowed etc. The films are shot on repeat multiple shooting schedules and put together.It is naive to watch and mimic porn movies. 
Anyways,


MY OPINION 
comparing sexual notes with your friends is the most stupid thing to do..Why?
because we are all physically and mentally very different people.. 
While being so different both in terms of physical appearance and emotional make up,Sdd in the variability of the physical differences that will exist between their partner and yours too>> discussing techniques is a FUTILE EXPERIENCE.. I mean,what works for them, won't work for you..at all..coz you are two different people..
Sex is more MENTALLY WIRED than you ever thought it was..

So, COMPARISON with your friends or your other sexual experiences with other people while you are with this new person IS  a NO-NO

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For me, 
Sex can happen only if i get so emotionally attached with another person that i want to be with them..So,there is  no scope for comparison  at all.
                                    I will be with someone only when I sense that they are very into me .Once  they are so into me,they are not going to compare at all.All they are thinking even in their head is just me and All I am thinking even in my head is them.

But , there are so many people that just have sex with people they are NOT really into.That is where the problem arises..You are not so into them,so you start comparing in your head, you discuss with friends, you do all that ..coz YOU ARE NOT SURE.

So, first off, get very sure ..then do it!

America,The Vanity factor,Cellulite,Suction cups to eliminate Cellulite,bikinis,pool parties

Before i start off the blog entry i have to first insist that i am a 30 year old female physician and though these blogs are not meant as specific medical advice, I know quite a bit of medicine..so these are informed blog entries that i am making here.

One thing i don't like about America is the vanity factor very
prevalent these days.
Duh, cellulite!
                      See, if people put on  a fat layer over a period of time  and then quickly  lose it
too quick in too short a time, the connective tissue that was holding the fat cells together in a layer under the skin,  takes a lil while to disappear.. and that connective tissue pulls at the skin and that is what celllulite is.


                  And to think that these girls(young and old alike) sit and torture themselves with suction cups to get rid of it..Duh..cellulite  is a natural thing.Just let it correct itself naturally.The suction mechanism actually seperates the skin from the undersurface..All these ladies  doing suction cup therapy to eliminate cellulite from their butts and thighs are eventually going to have loose butt skin when they get older.. geez..


           TOO much vanity..
Also too much social pressure to wear small bikini briefs at pool parties,
Too much of this principle of  people being disrespected coz they have cellulite, all contribute to this vanity mania.
             
                        First off, I don't think I am just about to provide a free butt show to every unrelated guy with a beer gut at the swimming pool.
               If  the guy is a boyfriend or husband
              and he is equally good looking too
             and we are later going to have sex,
             YES, parading in a bikini as part of foreplay or swimming together to heat it all up is a great idea..


But , but, why must i parade in too small bikinis at a community pool party where everybody from 18 yr old males to 50 year old hairy misshapen unrelated men get to ogle at my body.why?I am not a free entertainment show and there must NOT be any social pressure for young women to parade their wares to everyone. as much as there must NOT be any social pressure for young women to cover themselves up in suffocating veils even if they don't want to (all in the name of honor..whose honor..WTF)

So,yeah..vanity.. too much of insecurity and vanity.they go hand in hand.

Refuting theories predicting gender based intelligence capacities/inclinations

Let me start off this blog entry with a little piece of info..
I am a 30 year old female physician.
I am also an artist, writer (and other such paraphernalia.).What I am NOT though is a Mathematician.
I do have both sides of my brain equally smart.I have always been good at math , though i chose to pursue medicine over math in college

Contrary to this hypothetical belief that ,somehow, a person can only have one side of their brain better working than their other side, because of which a person who is good at math cannnot be artistic and viceversa, It is infact possible for a person to be good at both MATH and ART , If a person gives themselves the opportunity to learn both.

I find the theory of hemispherical dominance,  Utter BULL-SHITE..
As a physician AND an artist too,
I don't think this DOMINANCE is inherent or genetic at all ..I don't think this dominance is INEVITABLE either..
For one, I am AMBIDEXTROUS..A certain indication that possibly both my hemispheres work equally efficiently..???
I also want to say NO to this theory where somehow women are so good  at arts and women are oh so insightful and somehow  men are oh so good at math and women are not and Men have no emotional quotient.
All this gender based intelligence predictions are very gender discriminatory and insulting and discouraging to both men and women to attempt anything that is NOT SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL FOR THEIR GENDER.

My response to this is,
We are all born with the same type of brain, irrespective of gender.
Yes, women have a smaller cranial capacity.That is due to the effect of female sex hormones on the cranial bones during growing years.Brain size has nothing to do with intelligence , unless ofcourse the brain is too microcephalic(small) to actually cause a reduction in the actual number of functional neurons available.

Though the cranial capacity of women's skulls is slightly less than that of men's skulls, women have brains which are denser-as in tightly packed than men..

AT the end of the day..BOTH MEN AND WOMEN are  born with the SAME NUMBER OF NEURONS..From then on, what differs is how much we expose our brains to challenging environments that help us learn and get more intelligent .As we get more intelligent, our brains ends up developing more synapses(connections between adjacent neurons)
Synapses are quite indicative of how much info we are storing in our brains as time goes on..
So, there is NO GENDER SPECIFIC difference in intelligence capacities at all..It is how  much of info you expose yourself to on a day to day basis that determines intelligence and this is irrespective of gender.In many societies though, women are closed down and are made to sit at home cooking meals for the family without being given the opportunity to learn.which is sad


With regards to why women in olden ages were better at being insightful and less inclined to math

It was because, being insightful was what their life depended on..
Their welfare depended on sitting at home and sucking up to  the male members of the family coz they weren't socially allowed to work outside of their home.They ended up financially dependent even for food/clothing , on the male members of the family.Thus, their life depended on gauging the moods of the male members and pleasing them, just to ensure that their needs are met indirectly.So, in a way, the social system turned women into these insecure manipulative dependents.very sad!

Men on the other hand were socially allowed to go out there and learn stuff--they were actually allowed schooling where they learned math. If you don't send the girl children to school and force them sit at home and then teach them only how to cook...DUH of course they won't know math.. 

If you costantly praise the girl children only if they cook well or do embroidery well or play the piano well, that is what they will show interest to learn further ..coz that is the THEORY OF POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT..We all tend to train ourselves better at activities that bring us praise and appreciation from fellow humans..

So if men are praised for being good at school, they try better at school and math..If women are constantly praised if they cook and feed the family and run around in semi stripped clothes that is what they will be inclined to do more .

At the end of the day..our common aim is TO BE PRAISED AND APPRECIATED for our actions.If studying and being smart gets the woman, suspicions and disrespect from males, the women tend to not attempt those activities..coz being smart doesn't get them boys..ya know..that kinda thought process!


Anyways, coming back to RIGHT BRAIN DOMINANCE and LEFT BRAIN DOMINANCE in  the same  person..
I honestly don't think the theory of  HEMISPHERE DOMINANCE should be given any importance at all..
one classic example is


LEONARDO DA VINCI.
In my opinion he is a GOD..
Seriously,I adore him so much..One of my inspirations in life, besides others like MADAM CURIE, MAHATHMA GANDHI, BUDDHA and some other present day contemporaries who remind me of me

LEONARDO DA VINCI for one..was a great artist..
His paintings.. --breathtaking , beautiful , artistic ..yet very mathematically constructed, medically accurate too..
Leonardo da Vinci was also a mathematician
So many inventions are attributed to him.So many of his inventions were way ahead of his time.
His mechanical models , so accurate, so functional..( if you get Discovery channel on TV  in your country, please try and watch DOING DA VINCI-these guys are trying to reconstruct some of his older designs  which were luckily found in his NOTEBOOKS)

Leonardo da vinci was also an anatomy expert
When i see his drawings , I understand how much of a wealth of knowledge he was/is.
In my opinion, given how much of knowledge he had about the human body, he is also a physician

Leonardo da vinci was supposedly vegetarian.
Now I am secretly smiling to myself coz i am vegan.. These kind of humane lifechoices are made my people who take time to THINK..It takes a lot of thinking, for a human to understand that , meat is NOT a natural diet for humans.. coz we are not physically equipped to hunt like a tiger or a crocodile.

We are wimps..our fingernails suck..
If we smell freshblood,we puke..coz that is not what we are supposed to eat.
It might be so easy to pick  up -already bled and cleaned up meat pieces-off supermarket shelves,  but then..would you be able to eat raw meat? like bleeding raw meat? no?YEAH..i thought so!
So, to think that someone centuries ago, understood that principle that eating meat is UNNATURAL,  and made a life-choice to be a vegetarian..is a great point of inspiration for me..

Leonardo da vinci was rumored to be homesexual..i have no idea how historians came to such a conclusion coz most historians speculate..They can only speculate.What they speculate could be false .....or TRUE..whatever!
I have no specific opinions on this issue..I am against sexual abuse of minors though, coz,minors  don't understand the gravity fo what is going on sexually with them.If you are the older person trapping a minor to do sexual things with you,you are totally to blame..So, yeah, lay off the minors,please!

But as far as homosexuality between two consenting adults who reallly really love each other.. I have no judgements.. Casual sex between two adults even if heterosexual is highly undesirable though..coz the kind of sex you can have when you  are really into another person is quite different from mindless sex you can have with a person you don't love.
Anyways,
so anyways..
Looks like Leonardo Da Vinci  was a very good looking man--Great body, great muscle defintion.good muscle mass..WHOA! I am like.dude ..what else do I want in a man..he is vegetarian.. he is a smart ass and he has a greek god body..
BLUSHES.
So, looks like i have a major crush on a historical character..excellent..LOL


My point here of this blog entry

Both brain hemispheres can be dominant
Both males and females can be good or bad at math or good or bad at math or good or bad at both math and arts together at the same time.

What is the right time to start having sex for girls?

Before i start off the blog entry i have to first insist that i am a 30 year old female physician and though these blogs are not meant as specific medical advice, I know quite a bit of medicine..so these are informed blog entries that i am making here.


The human pelvis and bones continue to grow till age of 19-21.Any act of nature that stunts that growth is not really a natural thing to do-because nature doesn't design activities that are detrimental to the growth of the body at all
Any act of unprotected natural sex will lead to a pregnancy if the intercourse occurs during ovulation time.yeah?
This pregnancy will suck up all the energies of the female body not allowing the pregnant body to grow in length.Thus, it is not natural for any girl below the age of 19-21 to have unprotected sex at all.Because if she gets pregnant, she allows the fetus to grow at the cost of her own growth.It is like a growing child allowing another child to suck up her share of growth.
Young girls below 19, no matter what anyone tells you, having sex below you reach your full height is the most self destructive thing to do to your own body.Wait, learn, then do it after you reach your full height,after you reach a position where you are emotionally ready to be a parent and are financially able to get a job to support the child incase the boy bolts from responsibility.

BOTTOMLINE ?
1/As a young girl below 19, It is perfectly normal to SAY NO to having sex-especially unprotected sex..
2/19 is NOT too late to start having your first sexual experience.
Infact, you are more mentally mature,
You know what you want(to a certain extent)
You have grown your almost full height by then,
Your pelvis is fully developed and ossified too..
You have gotten high school done and complete(college is better, but high school drop out is the worst thing )
So, you are ready ..
Ready to have sex..not to get pregnant though!!
Not that i advice to get pregnant by 19..but yes, 19 is the right age to try and start having sex.
Anything prior to 19 is too soon.
You have a whole lifetime ahead of you people..hurrying and having sex at much younger ages only gives you a wrong idea of what sex is all about..because our first time is forever etched in our sexual psyche and what an illinformed kid experiences is not really that worth remembering but we all remember...
So, wait tilll 19,,both boys and girls..k?

The truth about Oral sex

All humans have something called  GAG REFLEX.Men have it too..


 WHAT IS A GAG REFLEX?
 If something goes and touches the back of the tongue or throat, we gag immediately.It is a REFLEX..Just like our eye blinks when something attempts to enter the eye.It is a protective thing.


When a guy asks a girl to give him oral sex
a blow job,He is asking her to ignore her gag reflex and get used to sucking someone else's organ-The same organ that he uses to urinate..That is almost like licking a toilet bowl in the name of sex.


When men give oral sex to women, it is not the same.There are no large parts that men need to put deep into the mouth.Men don't need to ignore their own  gag reflex while giving an oral to a woman,because they don't need to put anything deep inside.So, if a man offers to give you an oral in exchange for you giving him an oral,,it is still not a fair deal.

      However , it is still the area nearer to another area from where she urinates, and no matter how gleamingly clean you scrub your ceramic potty, would you be okay to lick it? no? Then, how come you are okay to lick the perineal area? So , mean are licking the toilet bowl too in the name of giving oral sex


Again,
If someone gives an oral out of their own choice and not due to social pressure it is fine.
"Social pressure" is to give or take it  because that is what  EVERYONE does.everyone else gives/gets an oral and likes it,so unless I like it or I give it or get it, I am not normal.)
But most often, women agree to give an oral because they are scared that if they don't, the man will try to get it from prostitutes or other women. There is something called a gag reflex and we all have it.. so..there ya go..the truth about oral!